Genevieve's Place

I went to see The Notebook with Gina last night, and...as I expected...I cried...a lot. Of course. I read the book and was nearly sobbing by the last page. I really sound like an emotional wreak...I know, but it was a really sad movie. Well, really the only parts to me that were sad were dealing with Ally when she was old, and especially the parts where she'd remember, or she'd be confused. Like, can you even imagine? I cried so hard that I got a headache and was still crying by the time we got to Perkins. I'm finding it hard to happy lately. Joyful, yeah, I've been joyful, but never truly happy.

Argh..I need some time off...from life...

Posted by Jen at 1:10 PM | Permalink | Comments

The walk home from school usually involves me talking very quietly to myself. I usually quit if I see any people but, it's still a time I spend in deep thought. Then I come home, plop in front of the computer and the thinking pretty much stops. Ha, kidding. I was having a pretty good day actually, but you know how like, something that only takes like 2 seconds to happen can ruin your day? Or maybe way over thinking a little thing that happened can ruin your day. I always do this! Friggin Idiot!

Oh, and a lot of people have found me here recently by googling something like 'tina you fat lard, come get some food!'...and, um sorry, I've got almost no napoleon content.

My day's going a bit better all of a sudden :)

Posted by Jen at 4:28 PM | Permalink | Comments

If you're thankful for anything today, please be thankful that your shower drains. Seriously. I would be, but ours doesn't.

On a brighter side, I think I might know what I'm going to do this summer. My lungs will never be the same. It's the weekend!

Posted by Jen at 10:21 AM | Permalink | Comments

Today's wednesday! Woo! As if you didn't know that and needed me to tell you. Of course you did. This just means that the week is pretty much over! Sweet! (imagine that in a napoleon kind-of-way, it sounds less geeky)

Tomorrow I've got an economics test that I'm sadly very unprepared for. I really don't know how I'll do...I guess we'll see.

An hour does not go by without the phone ringing...well, that is if someone isn't talking on it.

Oh, I just had a random thought: If you died right now, what would they bury you in? I'm not asking you your choice, but what would they pick out of your closet? Scary thought.

Posted by Jen at 7:13 PM | Permalink | Comments

Last night when I got home, I was going to write this entry, it was going to be good. I was overtired and feeling super wise. Oh, yeah, guys, you're really missin out on what's going on in this head, let me tell you. But, the internet was being an ass, and now MSN is, so now this allows me some ranting time. I really haven't done any of the mounds of homework I brought home with me. Which is alright I guess. I have most of this week in which I don't work much to do it in.

But yeah I was just having some thoughts on being the third wheel, and how it used to bother me a little, but now really it doesn't at all. Either I'm used to it, or I've accepted the fact that, if you're single, you are an automatic third wheel. Like, I've been a third wheel more times that I can count, and really, there's nothing you can do about it. Even if your friend promises, 'It won't be like that! I promise!' it still is. I had a super time yesterday though. We went out for supper, and then we went bowling and saw what Winkler people do on a Saturday night for fun *shudders*...oh well, I guess it's their life. I'm sure there are people who feel the exact same way about getting out of Winnipeg as we do about getting out of Winkler. Yup, there are people out there who will piss on your dreams as easily as you piss on others'. I guess change is all that everyone's craving. That's all I need, a little bit of change in my life every once in awhile and I'm happy. Okay, maybe I don't feel any way about getting out of Winkler, it doesn't really bother me. Where I am isn't really relative to how I feel, although I'm realizing proximity to my church does. Today I was wondering about staying home this summer, and I decided definetly that I'd still be going to church in the city. How can I help it? I'm in love.

Anyway, then I went to Gina's where we played in the snow a little while, played Clue (I won on pretty much accident, wild guess) and then we watched Wimbledon. Good stuff. Not really actually a movie I'd ever watch again, but just some fluff. I was considering going snowboarding today, isn't that scary? I don't think I'm ready yet though. Plus, I'd need a lot of attention so I wouldn't die.

Mmm, this song is good, it's called Undecided, by Jacynthe... here's some of it:

Been told one too many times
how I'm supposed to live my life
Fed up with those telling me

I can't be, what they want me to be
'cause I gotta find my answers.
I gotta let me be me!

I'm undecided, please don't tell me what to do,
with my life
I don't know where I'll be tomorrow
'cause I'm still undecided, undecided... today
If I could see into the future
then maybe I could understand
why I go through, what I go through
Maybe then I'd realize
Why life don't go the way I plan
Don't need to fight it, it's just another lesson

And just so ya'll aren't confused, the only people trying to tell me what to do with my life are my friends. Gets kinda frustrating. I know the song kinda sounds like I'm telling authority figures to get off, but really no, it's not.

Posted by Jen at 1:20 PM | Permalink | Comments

We made it home. Phewf. Ha, that's a funny word. Anyway, it only took us two hours to get home :) That's right, I've got mad skillz. Winter storm driving skills. Boys only want girlfriends who have skills. Ha, to those of you who haven't seen Napoleon Dynamite, first of all what's your problem, and second, there will be many things you won't understand from this point forward in history. If not...just go here.

So, my book finding dilemma is fixed. Well it wasn't so much dilemma as a...quadlemma. Wow, also a good word. Anyway, everything's all good thanks to my prof. Good times.

Build me a cake or somesing.

Posted by Jen at 11:22 AM | Permalink | Comments

Posted by Jen at 7:11 PM | Permalink | Comments

Hm, well, while I have a small break between classes, I have to say that I really dispise Psychology class. Really, I like the subject, but I'm tired, oh so weary of my pseudo-liberal bush-bashing prof. He's not even technically a prof, in fact, he can't even keep control of his own classroom. Sigh. Only a couple more months and I'll be done with nonspecialized pretty much general classes. I think the university atmosphere is taking it's toll on me. Well at least some classes are. I'm just getting kinda sick of hearing how dumb Christians are when I'm guessing probably half of my classes were brought up this way (in a Christian home)...way to be passive everyone (including me)...

So now that the proper people have been alerted (well, except for well, the people I should actually let know I'm coming)...I'm going to Mexico for reading week! I'm so super excited to go! It actually was quite a difficult thing to sort out in my mind, given the road trip and all that cancelling it would entail. I'm sorry guys, but...well, I don't know. Anything I have to say would sound trite and meaningless. Anyway, I'm super pumped to have this opportunity, especially because I'm so new to the church and I just started foundations classes.

I'll be heading home in about two hours! I can't believe how pee-my-pants-excited I am to go home. I might OD on coffee though while I'm there.

(little bit obscure)
It's most difficult to see someone who you thought was in line with what you believed go the other way in exacted the same way we've both critisized others for doing in the past.
(/little bit obscure)

Posted by Jen at 1:24 PM | Permalink | Comments

Well, I hope I come up with something here that'll be better to look at that all that you've been staring at lately. First off, I'd like to say that the library system doesn't work. Today, I looked up about 100 titles (from a list) on the system, many of which I knew would be checked out. Fine. The ones I found that weren't, fine I'll take one. But, going up to the second floor to find them (have you ever been there?? It's a maze! Many sleeping people on many tables). Anyway, I found the exact spots where these books should've been, but NONE of them were there. The whole time I was thinking....juuuuust my luck. Wow, nothing actually there for me. Just about to have legitimate reasons to actually start freaking out about my paper. But, then I just returned to a computer and requested ALL the books so that they'd pretty much get them for me :)...I know...super lazy. That was my frustrated story for the day.

Oh, and I actually got up in front of a class today and spoke. Well, for probably less than 30 seconds, but it wasn't too painful. AND...(an aside).....I think I've come to a decision. It'll be good. Just watch me. I can't be specific just yet, sorry. More people to talk to.

I think I'm going home this weekend.

Posted by Jen at 1:11 AM | Permalink | Comments

What if. What if. What if. What if.

Wounds heal. Especially small ones. Will you understand? Will you forgive what doesn't need forgiveness? Why does doubt creep up on me at just the wrong time? Why do I even second guess myself, and why am I so concerned. I feel so selfish.

I'm sorry for all the questions

Posted by Jen at 10:51 PM | Permalink | Comments

Ok, was today the best-ever time ever? I think so. Just when I thought it wasn't going to happen. Almost everyone wimped out, and or didn't come to church today, so we all didn't know who was up for it and who wasn't. But, all being convinced, in part because of fun, and in part because of the reward of Paul's chili....we went for it. We all had ginormas pieces of the fun pie...divided equally of course ;)

One of my feet is not so steadily pumping up my new exercise ball! It's probably going to be a good hour and a half from now til the time it is actually usable, because, the pumping isn't exactly in time with my typing speed.

Well, on the plus side, the weather finally seems to want to get out of the -45s.....That's something worth smiling about.

Posted by Jen at 11:27 PM | Permalink | Comments

I haven't been out of this basement all day, and I'm insanely okay with that. Let's just say I'm looking forward to a lot of time here in the future. On the even upper side, my room is now clean. Well, clean-ish. You can walk and not trip on shoes, socks, sweaters, papers, cords, dishes, etc. It still definetly needs a vacuum, but I hate, absolutely hate the monster of a machine we have down here. In addition to cleaning my room, I also did dishes (be proud, very proud of me). I cleaned the bathroom somewhat, but that's not a big deal. Homework also got done. Not a whole lot, on account of getting sidetracked from reading. But still. Homework.

In about a month, I have a pretty big paper due. Am I freaking out already? Yes, yes I am.

Posted by Jen at 11:48 PM | Permalink | Comments

Everyone's gone. I check their blogs, and obviously they haven't updated because they are now in Saskatchewan. I hope the ride wasn't too painful. Or the company. Oh, I'm so glad I have my own car. I'm currently in the library waiting between classes. Once again it's freeze-your-butt-off cold outside. The weather's looking up for the middle of next week though. Hopefully it'll move up and be nice on Sunday. I'm looking forward to a weekend of homework, cleaning, and organizing. Sounds fun huh? But what am I supposed to do when I don't get any work shifts? I don't really mind not working much at all, gives me a little break. Oh, and to achieve my desired 3.5 GPA, I'm definetly going to need A's in my 6 credit hour courses. Oh, who knows what could happen, do what you do just keep on laughing, one thing's true, it's always a brand new daaaay....wow I need some sleep.

Posted by Jen at 1:57 PM | Permalink | Comments

It's tired, and I'm late. Oops. No, wait. Wait, that's wrong. Meh. Well, today's been that kind of day. Why did both of my classes have to be deathly boring? And then, why was it so cold I just wanted to cry because it hurt so much? Why does my life blur the line between reality and...well, not? I think I'm alone there. Why can't I be a big girl?

I bought ski-pants today. They'll probably go straight to my car, rarely to be used again after tobagganing on Sunday (which, if the weather's ok, I'm still looking forward to) It might not though. *sigh* Who doesn't like Napoleon Dynamite? I, well, don't understand them. I can see why my little sister didn't like it, she likes movies like...Honey, Dirty Dancing Havana Nights, (which I do love too) you know, teenage girl-things. But, Napoleon, he's just so...so...gosh! You idiots!

I'd say more but, I'm being watched.

Posted by Jen at 1:03 AM | Permalink | Comments

I'm falling behind here. I'm slipping away from all these newbie bloggers. Sheesh. But maybe it's because lately my life has been such smooth going. I'm so excited to go tobagganing on the weekend, I went to the mall to where I work to try on a pair of skipants already. Well, I guess not already, since it's been...about 10 years since I last had a pair. And these are super nice!!

I'm so glad to say that most of my classes so far have been a complete and total breeze. Yup, calculus included, although that doesn't say much because we're still going over grade 10 stuff. Oh, the things they didn't teach us in highschool. ( I mean that in more than a math way) It's been fun to hear my economics prof say GDP as JAEDAEPAE over and over. Good times. But my business class though, has given me so much to think about. I can't believe I'm actually considering being a manager. Could I handle it at this point? Um, no. But I know what I need to work on, and who I need to be.

My calc prof said something like this today ( I changed it to be more applicable) "If you do everything right, you're not learning anything"

Posted by Jen at 12:47 AM | Permalink | Comments

Um, first, Cherise got a blog! Go her!

Second, I just lit a candle, which was a frustrating experience because I cut the wick waay to short. Next, tomorrow I'm to work to get a pair of snowpants because...on Sunday we're going tobogganing!! Plans are laid, but, not that many toboggans have been secured. Oh well, it'll be fun, making beaded necklaces. I've had a pretty much sit-around kind of day. After church and lunch, I didn't really feel like doing much. I've done a bit of reading for school (go me). Calculus lab starts in a week. Gross. I'm so not looking forward to that class, but I've got the best prof ever, and Kendra's going to help me! (yay Kendra!!!!)

Life is, very touchy right now. *sad face*

Posted by Jen at 8:27 PM | Permalink | Comments

I think, I'm almost completely off coffee. Strange huh? I thought it'd be a lifelong issue, but I guess it won't be. That is, until I return home, and the coffee flows like water. My tea quota however, has risen to two or more cups a day. Usually with toast. I love toast and tea. 12 grain toast and herbal tea. Last night, I went to bed before 11! Wow, what have I become. Don't worry, I've got the regular stash of diet soda in the fridge. And the regular unhealthy badly-timed meals. Ah, it's a new year.

Going grocery shopping, I had the most euphoric feeling. Work this evening, was basically on average, just work. Helping people and them appreciating it, just makes me...happy. Happy little kids too, have that effect on me. I like when people ask me if I'm on commission, (or 'commish' as one guy put it today) and, no of course I'm not. But I'm happy when they're surprised. I know that sounds stupid and silly, but I've never been a happier grocery-shopper.

My sprained ankle still hurts.

Posted by Jen at 10:54 PM | Permalink | Comments

Cold outside? Uh, heck yeah. I really pity anyone who had to walk farther than I did today, which isn't too far. Cold, cold, cold. What can I say, the weather's a boring subject.

Today started the second semester. Can't you tell I'm super excited about it? I started a new class today, and an old class with a different prof. It's actually a lot to get used to. Pretty soon I'm going to be procrastinating about doing homework. For now I can enjoy, just doing nothing. During my new class, Introduction to Management and Organization Theory (sounds great, eh) we have to have name cards (argh) and answer questions. Random ones. Like, who's the most famous person you've met. Thank goodness I didn't have to answer that. And, what do you think you're good at. I just.hate.that. This is one reason why I hated the beginning of all our bible studies last semester. Because, at the beginning, we always went around in a freakin circle, and said stuff about ourselves. Well, really, I have an inkling everyone hates that, but maybe I'm wrong. But what do a bunch of near strangers care what my favourite thanksgiving memory was? ( I didn't have one) Plus, I never have good, memorable, or vaguely coherent answers to those questions. I.hate.them. Hate. If you want to actually know something personal about me (probably not) why won't you just personally freakin' ask me. Because two seconds later you'll forget what I said in a big group anyway. Why'd you want to know in front of a big group anyway?? Who.Really.Cares? It's not a 'getting to know' you exercise, it's a 'everyone else does this, so let's too' exercise.

I just watched the last bit of Love Actually on tv. I can't believe I missed most if it! I love that movie. Sigh.

If you're looking for something entertaining to do, Just Letters is kinda fun actually, if not just to watch what other people are trying to spell.

Posted by Jen at 7:37 PM | Permalink | Comments

So, today wasn't a complete waste. I got some all my laundry done, (and the machine is still unfortunalty ruining my clothes) and my room maybe a quarter cleaned up. My Big Fat Greek Wedding was on TV. Good times. I'm sick. Again. I think my nose piercing is getting infected...or at least really grosser than gross.

I was going to go to bed before midnight today. BUT, I just installed The Sims. Oh well.

Posted by Jen at 11:55 PM | Permalink | Comments

Whew, well, we made it back to the city in one whole piece. Barely. Thank goodness I didn't decide to go on my own. In which case, I'd still be in Winkler. Oh, and if you couldn't tell, I got the foretold giftcard for fashion. For the same place as the other one, so I'll be doing some shopping soon. Well, actually maybe not, given that I don't need anything. Maybe when there are sales in spring. Classes start on Weds. Not particularily pumped, but this year has to get over with already. Not that I'm not completely having a blast, I just want these courses to be done, and to move out and move on. But anyway...CHURCH tomorrow!!!!! Nighters!

Posted by Jen at 11:53 PM | Permalink | Comments

It's been...an interesting year. I often think of it as the first because it was technically my first out of high school. Did I go to univerisity in that year? Mostly no. Did I work a lot? Somewhat. I had some truly unforgettable times though. Lethbridge in March. Sweet sweet babies. Climbing Bear's Hump, which was harder than it had to be. My car breaking down, numerous times. Waiting for interviews at the fishing lodges. Not getting and then getting a job at a fishing lodge. Waiting to go up there, because of the cold cold winter we had. Going up north. Doing a bunch of things for the first time. Making some longer-than-forever friends. Working harder and longer than I had ever worked before. Learning a lot about who I am, who I was, and who I could be. Whatever weiner. Reinforced values. Finding out who my real friends were. Starting to blog a lot less than I used to. (Did you see me in January? whew!) Getting laid off early. Getting reunited. Going to Pam's wedding. Moving out, and starting university. Bought a car. Got a job, so I could afford car. Meeting random people from the internets. Feeling better about who I am, and who I'm supposed to be. Doing homework. Actually doing homework. Late runs, and drives. Finding a church I love.

I rang in this year at Church of the Rock, at the young adults formal. It was...awesome. The last moments of 2004 were spent in worship and prayer. I could make a list of all the things I want to accomplish this year, but I know I'll just fall flat on my face. So, we'll just see where I'm taken this year.

I've become way more outspoken this year. I used to never be able to tell someone what was on my mind. There are of course, exceptions to this, as I'm still not able to do the confrontation thing. I've made many resolutions to myself this year, unconciously, and without voicing them. I don't feel at the moment, that I should be making any for this year. Not yet anyway.

Posted by Jen at 1:51 AM | Permalink | Comments