Tuesday, August 31

I'm so freakin' bored out of my mind. I move in 3 days, and I know I should pack up some of my stuff and all that, but I don't really feel like. Just toss the mess into a box and unpack the mess in it's new location. My room is constantly messy. That's a constant. But I can clean up other people's rooms, and keep them clean, I just don't care if it's my space, because I'm not subjecting anyone else to it.

Hey, good news, looks like I'm probably getting employment insurance. I'm so glad, because I hate worrying about money. And now I might not have to. Woo.

Oh geez, I'm boring.

Sunday, August 29

Yesterday was Pam's wedding. It was beautiful. It was. Matt's yard was absolutely gorgeous. I can't imagine growing up in a place as nice as that. I'm so used to little town lots. Yeah, it was a nice wedding. The sun was shining during the whole ceremony, which was miraculous because for four days previous, plus today, it's been nothing but rain. This is the first of my friends' weddings I got to go to. I already missed two that I was invited to. There've been a bunch more of girls my age. There will be a bunch more before the year is over. The whole time I was thinking, what a strange time of year for a wedding, for me anyway. I'm about to head out on my own, pretty much for good, besides the obligatory weekends/holidays thing, and so are most of my friends. Well, not that getting married isn't going out on your own, but marriage definatly isn't on my mind.

A few more days until I move out...

Friday, August 27

Well, I didn't bruise at all from my donation, I think I'll do it again. Of course!

Today I went to Mitchell. I went to pick up Annie. I was so excited the whole day...I could barely contain myself when they pulled into the parking lot of a local restaurant to meet me. The next hour was filled with a tour of Charissa's house as well as a lot of hugs, confessions of love, blown kisses, and a little bit of ass-grabbing for old times sake. I did nothing in the evening though. There was a call to go out for coffee, but remember what I said about pretending? I'm try to avoid not pretending. Which means I don't like confrontation.

I'm going to be a bit candid. What existed up there, seemed like a completely different world. Where I had friends that actually were excited to be with me. Not that I'm not loved here, I know I am. It's just, in high school, we were a huge group. A huge very-underwhelming group. And I'll admit, amougst us, there were people who we considered prominent. I don't know quite why, be they more popular amoung other groups, making them more in demand for us, or they being good at things, like sports or music, or they were just more attractive than the rest of us. I don't know, this is speculation. But I've discussed this (with myself, ha) before, and I've never had friends like these girls. Girls who are more like who I want to be, than anyone I've ever met. I feel slightly loser-y saying that kind of stuff. And I realize that they could be reading this. I love you guys.(oh, oh, guys, check out my sidebar, under fanlistings! MY GIFT IS MY SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) And I know getting together this year might be a little tougher than we imagine, but I still want to try. Hard. We're all home now.

Well, now that I've alienated half the people I know...

Thursday, August 26

Look at me! Look at me! Look what I did! Aren't you proud? I was a little nervous, just cuz I didn't know exactly what to expect. But I guess it was worth it. Now I just want to know what my blood type is.

Whoa, people are actually listening to my call-to-arms about writing me emails! I love emails :) I'm having such an awesome day today. First I get an email from Charissa (finally!!), and immediately I give them a call and talk to them for a while (screw long distance bills, my parents will pay). I couldn't believe I hardly recognized their voices, I was beginning to think I imagined the whole summer, and I was here the whole time. Tomorrow I get to travel to the far off lands of Mitchell, and pick up Annie from Charissa's place. I can't wait to see them again.

So, moving is slowly becoming a reality. I talked to Rae today, about roommate-y stuff, and I'm starting to think...I'm actually going to go to University. There's so much of the future I can't see. I can't picture so much. It'll be awesome, and I'm so excited. I'm not excited about buying books, doing homework and the like, and also not too pumped about not being able to get around without a car. Oh well, people will come pick me up, right? Guys, right?

My little sisters (14) started their first job(s) today. They're bussing tables at the Chinese restaurant that their friend's parents own. I can almost even remember my first day of work at (the undisclosed location). I must've thought I was so cool. Ugh.

Wednesday, August 25

I'm sitting here listening to the rain fall outside my window again. Not very clearly given the noisy computer we've got, but it's still nice nonetheless. I love the rain. It wasn't really warm enough today to justify having rain tonight. But it's nice :)

Tonight we said 'goodbye' to Holly. We will see her at Christmas. And New Year's of course! I'm glad we had the talk we did tonight. I am really sick of pretending to be friends with people I would never choose to spend my time with. As the girls I spent the summer with can testify to, I've become quite a bit more outspoken. I can get very opinionated sometimes. Anyway. I think I can be a bit freer with speech here since these people are internet illiterate, especially ill-blog-literate. Hey, you, you're not interesting. Ha, I said it.

That said, Holly I will miss you much, even though I went for the whole summer without seeing you. It's seeing you after I'm back is what made me realize how much I did miss you, and everyone. I know you'll be too busy to miss us when you're gone, and it'll pretty much be the same way around. I'll email you if you email me.

Tuesday, August 24

There are times in my life where a butterfly takes up residence in my stomach. Times when, I'm just constantly nervous, worried. One of those time was when I took my national's for lifeguarding...needless to say I failed it miserably in the end, but in that weeklong course, I had this awful feeling in my stomach. Some of it was performance anxiety, I HATED doing CPR in front of people, even though I do it fine. I hate fake shouting for help, I just hate things that could potentially make me look like an idiot. Some of that is actually why I decided not to go into nursing. Stupid reasons I know. Well, in addition to the fact that I was no longer interested in anything medical. Back on topic, I have this nervous feeling in my stomach right now. It's because, next week, I'm moving, to the city. I'm not scared persay, it's just something new. I need to get used to it. I really am very excited to start a new life again, but so nervous at the same time. Nervous I'll hate my classes, nervous I won't meet new friends (well, there's always the old ones, right girls?), nervous I will make new friends, just nervous for new stuff. Cooking for myself, which I was looking forward too, now I just couldn't care less. I'm going to end up living off of spaghetti-o's. (dreams and spaghetti-o's! haha)

Lately, even though I do complain about it, I've been getting more emails than ever, and it rocks. Well I've been getting about one per day from about say...six or seven people, but it's still something. I love emails. Send me an email now. :)

Monday, August 23

You know, comfort comes in the strangest forms sometimes. Yesterday I spent the day with J. Foo. It was fun. We went out for lunch and I had a chicken vagita (hehe), and then when I gave my parents back their car, we walked to school and lay in the grass and played word games. Places without s's. It's just tough that way. We went to McDonald's to check out the new renovations, it looks pretty good. We walked home and watched Bend it like Beckham (yeah I know...again)...hm we had pizza for supper and then headed out in the intrigue. We stopped by the skatepark so Joel could say hi to some people and we ended up playing some frisbee. It was a cool time. Then we walked a few miles along the railroad tracks. People can surprise you sometimes in the strangest ways. They really do. If you read this Joel, thanks for a cool time.

Thursday, August 19

Wow, I can't believe I slept this late. Bugger. Considering my alarm was set for seven. Ouch. The last thought that went through my head was: yeah, why bother setting it for six? I'll get up already! I guess CHVN coming on every nine minutes wasn't exactly motivation to get moving. So sleeping 12 hours (consecutively) after sleeping about 4 hours a night for a whole summer doesn't really feel great. I think it's making me sick, or I am sick and that's why I slept so long. One of the two.

Funny story about the world getting smaller. I apologize if you don't care, oh wait, no I don't. Yesterday I get this email from my profile (MSN), and it's from Scott's brother. Strange. He was looking at profiles, found mine, followed the link to here, and was shocked to learn I know Scotty. Very strange. I haven't written to tell Scott yet, but I haven't gotten any responses to the pleading lonely emails I've sent all of them. :(

It's so strange. People are actually calling me and trying to get together with me. I don't know what to do.

Tuesday, August 17

Well, here I am
I didn't want to say I'm home, because I don't know where home is. I'm at my house anyway. Currently located in the computer room, not using my computer but my parents, because I no longer live downstairs, but upstairs, in my little sisters' old room. That's right. Bunkbeds. I left my former 'home' this afternoon, about 12 hours ago. 8 of those last 12 were on the road for me. Before I left I called Annie and made some Tim-Hortony plans though. I was in bad need of and Iced Cap. I hate goodbyes, but I know I'll be seeing everyone I said goodbye to in the next few months, plus I'll be in contact with them through email almost daily. I'm just a big suck. I want to introduce you to my awesome 'new' friends:

Here is Charissa, she likes to make faces when she sees the camera. This picture actually made it onto a mug.

This is Trevor, a pilot, and our very own camp manager.

Meet Annie, another waitress, and finally Scott, another pilot.

These people absolutely made my summer unforgettable. Now I'm here and I can't stop thinking about being there with them, and I know it would never be the same even if I went back.

Now that I'm here, I have to say...where is everybody? What did you all do this summer, and how come nobody posted comments here all summer long? Just kidding, not like I payed much attention to anyone's easyjournal, mostly because they were never even updated. I have so much unbelievable unpacking to do. And I swear, it's everything that I own. I was moved. Everything I own is in boxes. I feel like living out of them and not bothering until I move out. Tomorrow I will see some family. I guess I have to show them pictures. I will have to do some sensoring. Goodnight

Sunday, August 1

14 more days and I'm home. It was supposed to be two weeks later than that. I don't suppose I mind all that much. It is a lot of money to lose out on, but this way I still get a little summer. But I come home on the last day of the Harvest Festival. Boo. I guess I'm not missing out on too much anyway. My parents are coming up here tomorrow night. They're going to stay in one of the guests cabins here. Yeah, don't really have much to say yet. Somebody should call me.