Tuesday, December 4

i cannot cannot cannot blog here any longer...four years of history i am happy to leave behind, but i can't bring myself to delete it. i'm now over at much farther to go. Because I still really do.

Monday, September 10

If you are reading this now, (and most likely, I'm probably just talking to Holly, who probably has given up on me here already) you should know that I am gone to England for the fall! I may update here, or I may start a new blog. I will always use facebook though, and skype, user name different_light. later!

Sunday, July 29

So today, tonight, three months after moving home, I am finally using my own computer in my room. Well, I set up the internet in here anyway. And...finding it kind of annoying how my space bar doesn't really want to work all the time...aaanyway. Using my computer again is almost like stepping back in time, strangely. To before I worked as a student accountant, before getting life ready to travel. And now I feel like I'm back in May, just starting out. I really considered starting over with a new blog, just so I could leave everything I've written before behind. And maybe I will, the parts about traveling and pictures and all that. Anyway, like i have been saying all along, I'm pretty sure these are my last weeks here. At least for a few years. And moving back probably won't mean moving home. I can't find it in me to be sad about that. There are more than a few things driving me nuts about this place. It's time for me to move on while everyone else is getting married, buying houses, and having babies. I just don't know where or how to start...

Thursday, May 31

I don't know why I started this blogging thing again, now I just feel like I have to make up things to say. Well, they changed the weather forecast. Now, instead of 10 out of the next 14 days having rain, there's only one day where it's supposed to rain in the next two weeks. Even though it's been raining for probably over a week now, I'm secretly disappointed it won't rain more. I don't know why I like it so much. I suppose when it rains, it means the temperature outside will be or nearly be tolerable, not too too cold, and not scorching hot. And it gives me an excuse to stay inside, or at home. And, I love the sound of rain on the roof. I don't really know why. It's SO cold in this office. ugh.

Sunday, May 27

Okay, here I am at a time that's way too late for someone to be up if they have to work the next morning. But really, work has unlimited coffee. I'm mostly writing right now, because I know Holly checks. Everyday, even though she knows she will find nothing new. And this is not good. I often do want to write things, and even half write them in my head, but then, no. I don't have the time/I don't have the right words/I will offend someone/What I say doesn't matter...etc...etc. The excuses go on. And really, I'm not all that upset at much at the time. Life is excellent, I have an awesome job, and an 'okay' second job, I'm leaving for Europe in three months, and when I come back, I hope to assert my independence once and for all. So the plan is in my head, anyway. My degree feels like it's taking forever and that it never ends. I suppose an extra year for a bachelors doesn't make so much difference in the long run, but when I already wasted a year after high school, it's starting to add up. So, the plan is, six years after I graduate high school, I graduate university, then I enrol in the hell that is known as CASB. What lies ahead for me there I have no idea. Free time will be redefined, friendships lost, forged, neglected, sanity questioned. Or so I hear. But when I'm done, oh man, when I'm done. Glory glory. A job pretty much wherever. That is...if I can still make that choice for myself alone. It is four years down the road, really.

So, here comes the part where I hope no one reads this anymore. I went to a wedding shower last night. It was great, you know, everything they should be. Happiness for surprising the bride, giving her gifts, giggling over the words 'honeymoon', 'lingere' and the like. But it was, man, it was highschool. A bit of a mish mash, but still. I am, or at least I'd like to say I am completely different than i used to be, and these people (some of them) shouldn't be making me to feel like they used to. This is the complete, and whole reason why I remove myself from certain people, and certain social situations, because for some reason, which i have yet to pinpoint, I am unable to be myself, or feel good about myself around them. And I'm too grown up to put myself through things for the sake of not disturbing shit or wanting to please people. *whew*

Saturday, April 28

I sincerely apologize to those who actually bother to come here and find that no, once again I haven't updated. I'm sure I've lost everyone by now, which is bad, and good at the same time. I really almost never consider my audience, and when I do, I never say what's actually on my mind. Not like that's been a lot lately. I just wrote my last exam of this year on Thursday. It's just...good to be done, and now I'm going through that thing were I think I'm supposed to be studying, but I don't really have anything I'm responsible for before work starts Monday morning. Not that I actually spent all that much time studying... Anyway, I get to go through a week of training in the city before I come back here, again, to work. I am really looking forward to work, just not so much dressing up everyday. Although it does give me an excuse to wear super cute shoes everyday. Should be an interesting summer. I'll be in the city all next week if anyone wants to hang out in the evenings!

Friday, March 23

I love the morning. I hate getting up before I've had what my mind thinks is enough sleep, but I still love it when I eventually get out of bed. Maybe I mean to say is that I love to wake from sleep. It just seems like all my problems, everything that I was thinking about and was keeping me up for hours the night before have disappeared, or at least made that much smaller. It's like I go through my day and let everything bother me, build up, and I make mistakes, and somehow sleeping (when I get to it) takes it away. I don't know, my random thought for the day...

I came home today, mostly because I won't be home for awhile again. My sisters are in Germany and Winnipeg, so I'm pretty much keeping my parents company...or something. Or getting in the way of the only free weekend they've had...ever? whaaatever. In other news, for those who didn't already know, I'm heading to England for school next semester. I just got my acceptance in the mail last week! Not that there was any real doubt, it's sort of a given at the asper school o'business. But yay!