you say he's a....
Whenever it strikes me in a conversation with my little sisters, I say, "whatever you decide to do, get out of here, just do what it takes." Really I'm not sure why. I'm on my way out, I know, and I do love it here, and it will be great for other people. I was watching the Green Day video American Idiot with my little sister, and she asked me why they silenced out the word 'faggot.' I said, you absolutely can't be serious. Like not even. No, she was serious, my aunt had even used it in a conversation lately. I was so angry I didn't know what to do. My mom didn't understand. "haven't you ever called anyone a faggot?" she says. Are you freakin kidding me? "have you ever called anyone a nigger?" I shoot back(tearfully of course). No was the answer, but she obviously didn't see the connotation. I guess I'm particularity sensitive lately, I just read this article on Outrage! about two teenagers in Iran who were executed for being gay. Now, don't get me wrong. I know what I believe without a doubt. But, where's the love? What does this mean? No one in the civilized world should be feeling anything good about that. It tore me apart to read more, and the comments on MeFi. And here I sit, in Winkler, which I love with all my heart. Just...sitting, not knowing what to do or how to feel. Then I read an article from christianity.ca about China's underground church, and I'm like yes! yes! yes! more of that and less religion! I've obviously been thinking too much lately (or not enough maybe)....anyway...now off to spend the evening among these people whom I don't really feel I know (my family, just in case you missed that)
you're not thinking too much. i know exactly how you feel. i feel very disconnected in my little haven called home, and sometimes i wonder how i can connect the things i know are reality far away from me. ugh.
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10:53 AM