As geeky as this is going to come out, I just spent some time sorting through old emails. Crazy memories were brought up. I have a folder with emails from people that honestly made my day, or fixed my day when they sent it. I also just deleted complete folders, in a desparate hope that somehow if the emails never existed, what happened never did. Like the stupid things I did never happened. But, not, of course, before I read them and went through every painful memory in my head. There were some good memories relived, so it wasn't all bad. Remember Max? He used to call me honey. Miss him being here like crazy, and since going to Germany is unlikely for me, probably will never see him again. There are some emails with...interesting memories that I can't bring myself to delete though. Like, Ch-- for instance...but lets not go there. Also lots of memories of last summer.
They just happen to be mostly triggered by the fact that I had the chance to go up north again. I let the oppurtunity slip by, but not without spending the whole day thinking about it. It was nice because I was having a horrible day, and the whole time I was thinking: This could be my last day if I wanted! But of course, no, I'm staying and all that. It was just nice to think about. Getting away for another whole summer. Nice though it'd be, I just want to be here for now. Not that there's a whole lot keeping me here, I just have to be here, you know?
They just happen to be mostly triggered by the fact that I had the chance to go up north again. I let the oppurtunity slip by, but not without spending the whole day thinking about it. It was nice because I was having a horrible day, and the whole time I was thinking: This could be my last day if I wanted! But of course, no, I'm staying and all that. It was just nice to think about. Getting away for another whole summer. Nice though it'd be, I just want to be here for now. Not that there's a whole lot keeping me here, I just have to be here, you know?
i think it's important to get rid of the physical things that reminds you of things you'd rather not remember. i know that somehow that always helps me let go, it's like there's one less thing to hold on to of that memory. sometimes i just want to hold on to those memories thou...then it's tuff.
and i wanted to say that i do know about the staying home thing. and that i'm happy that you're here:)
Posted by
Cherise |
8:22 PM