I'm thinking, it's time for some change
So, today I wrote my math exam. Which I felt completely unprepared for because I didn't study much and felt I didn't really understand it at all. When I started to go through all the questions...I started to be quite uneasy, I really didn't think I knew how to do half the stuff...but somehow, somewhere, it just started coming to me. I don't know how I came up with answers to some of them, but, I just did. I know for a fact that I got a lot of stuff wrong, but I also know I got a lot right. :P Well, here's hoping for an A.
Tonight I went out for coffee with an awesome friend of mine, who I can actually be myself around. You'd be surprised at who I can be, I can surprise myself sometimes. It helps often just to talk things out to someone, even though you're talking them out to yourself. So, I've kinda come to terms with some stuff in my head. Without even voicing it, I know there's stuff in my life that has to go. Stuff that I've let define how I feel about myself. It's kinda like how, you forget all the good stuff people say about you, and you know by rote all the bad stuff people have said. Well, lately, I've been trying in vain to fill my life with empty compliments (figuratively and literally). That has to stop. Pretty much now. I can't do this half way. Because it's not working, and I cannot let all that crap define who I think I am. Because it's not who I am, really.
Tonight I went out for coffee with an awesome friend of mine, who I can actually be myself around. You'd be surprised at who I can be, I can surprise myself sometimes. It helps often just to talk things out to someone, even though you're talking them out to yourself. So, I've kinda come to terms with some stuff in my head. Without even voicing it, I know there's stuff in my life that has to go. Stuff that I've let define how I feel about myself. It's kinda like how, you forget all the good stuff people say about you, and you know by rote all the bad stuff people have said. Well, lately, I've been trying in vain to fill my life with empty compliments (figuratively and literally). That has to stop. Pretty much now. I can't do this half way. Because it's not working, and I cannot let all that crap define who I think I am. Because it's not who I am, really.
