Genevieve's Place

So, it seems my job is pretty much done with me, and I don't have a lot to do before school starts. I'm starting to see what I'd be doing all day if I hadn't worked all summer. That is, sleep til noon, watch Grey's Anatomy, Oprah and Dr. Phil every single day. I love Grey's Anatomy by the way, I only started watching it these last few months. There will be a party for the season premiere, let me tell you.

I'm actually very glad to be done my job. I was so fed up with people by the end of Saturday I could've screamed. I'm very very very very sorry that I haven't been documenting all the stupid/dumb/retarded things people have done and said to me this summer. Oh well, it's probably best to forget most of it. Yeah, I won't be saying things like that in my end of summer report. I have to think of highlights too. I wonder. Since I spent most of the summer not remembering what I did the day before, I might have to BS just a tad.

Posted by Jen at 12:14 AM | Permalink | Comments

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

No, I did not actually lose a friend. But why is it that the ones we love the most, hurt us the most without even meaning to? Without even being near us? By choosing others over us? By choosing a different life? By having friends you don't want them to have?

Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come
And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Posted by Jen at 11:46 PM | Permalink | Comments

I don't know what's with me lately. I'm just so....so. I'm just so. Two weeks, then school will start. I'll be back here for work again. I don't even know how to feel about school starting. Because: I don't know about work. I know I need a job if i want any fun. Because: Things I've started here are so very unfinished. Because: I feel very oh-so-unrequited with things. Things and people.

I want people all around me, but then I want them all gone. Why can't you be with me and just leave me alone! That made more sense than I meant for it to. Maybe I mean, why can't you be with me and just go away! There, that's better. I keep having these dreams. Yikes. They're not surreal or anything, they just make me wonder why things aren't a certain way.

We got the wishbook a few days ago. Remember going through it as soon as it came, it used to be September even, and making a list of all the things you wanted, down to the page number and letter, plus a description? I did that every single year since I could write. How many gifts have I gotten from the sears cataloge? Zero. Mooost likely for the best since I always asked for things like the small tent and sleeping bag set. I mean, who needs that?

What do you want for Christmas?

Posted by Jen at 9:30 PM | Permalink | Comments

tired. I'm just tired. Not in the usual whiny 'i'm-so-tired-i-never-get-enough-sleep' kind of tired. Oh no, I slept past noon today, so I'm now recovered from the weekend. I'm tired of trying so hard. But then I wonder if I'm really trying all that hard. Sometimes I feel I'm giving all I can, and then other times, I know I could do more. and I'm just talking generally, in terms of life. Being. Then, times I feel like it's ungrateful to feel less than perfectly content with my life, mainly because of how much worse it could be, and I'm afraid of the shock that could come if my life did, in fact become worse. I've been afraid to dream big. Sit back, I guess, and wait for what happens.

Posted by Jen at 12:13 AM | Permalink | Comments

I think everyone I work with thinks that I'm having a mental breakdown. It proabably looks that way. Hoooow fun. Good thing I'm kidding a little bit. I'm doing that thing again where I'm looking forward to having everything over with. I just miss so much when I do this. I want to be living in the city with a job of some sort, and hanging out with friends on a super regular basis, and of course, getting my school work done *sigh*...good thing I love being a student so much (I actually do). Not too much time left though. And then I start thinking of all the things I've left undone, and unsaid. Then I feel very unaccomplished.

Just got a telemarketing call...something about vacations, or something. Well, they'll 'pick' me to win whatever it is, if they go by most pathetic last vacation. Good thing I'm going to vegas in spring.

Posted by Jen at 7:31 PM | Permalink | Comments

I can't even begin to express how glad I am that this weekend is over. I can't say that it's not work that makes me feel that way, because it totally is. I dread this week, for mostly the ramifications of maybe not doing the best job I possibly could, but hell, I'm human, and this human is completely burnt out. No one seems to care though (work wise I mean, of course friends care). What happened to people just being nice?

Posted by Jen at 11:21 PM | Permalink | Comments

I'll try not to make this sound like an 'and-in-summation' post, because it's been so long, and there's been so much that's happened. No wait, not a lot. I'm mostly excited right now because I can move to the city with less than a carload full of stuff, and the stuff that'll probably take up the most room besides clothes is...tolietries. If you've seen my bathroom sink you'll understand. Good thing I'll have a bathroom to myself.

I'm kinda disappointed that I missed Fred Penner this evening at the valu days. I think I'll live. I saw Miami Vice though. hard not to see why it earned such horrible reviews, I spent the first half wanting to giggle, and the second half wanting to close my eyes and ears from all the gun violence (maybe that's just me). Remember: facial hair = always a mistake, no exceptions. seriously.

Posted by Jen at 11:59 PM | Permalink | Comments

Oh, She's The Man. Good times.

Posted by Jen at 10:34 PM | Permalink | Comments

School starts in about a month, and I have to say...I'm pretty pumped actually. Then again, I have been pretty pumped all summer long. Three more festivals. About six more pancake breakfasts. Three more parades.

Posted by Jen at 11:41 PM | Permalink | Comments