Genevieve's Place

She sees him laying in the bed alone tonight
The only thing a touching him is a crack of light
Pieces of her hair are wrapped around and 'round his fingers
And he reaches for her side, for any sign of her that lingers

And she says you are not alone
Laying in the light
Put out the fire in your head
And lay with me tonight

One of them bullets went straight for the jugular vein
There were people running, a flash of light
Then everything changed
Nothing really matters in the end you know
All the worries sever
Don't be afraid for me my friend, one day we all fall down forever

The wedding date was June just like any other bride
She loved him like no one before and it was good to be alive
But sometimes that can slip away as fast
As any fingers through your hands
So you let time forgive the past and go and make some other plans

You are not alone
Laying in the light
Put out the fire in your head
And lay with me tonight

I can't breathe, and I don't know what to say.

Posted by Jen at 12:35 AM | Permalink | Comments

My flowers are long dead. Just thought you should know. Pretty much dead from day of purchase. Dang supasto' flowers. Good thing I expected as much.

Well! I am, or I thought I was, the type of person who was in a permanent good mood, even when crappy stuff happened, I would forget about it for a while and be happy, and I could get back on my feet with the minimalist of efforts. But today, for some reason, I was someone completely else. Not only did I walk around almost the whole day in a mopey-like state, I was constantly worried that someone would think that I was a jerk. But there was nothing I could do, there was nothing I could think of to cheer myself up, I usually ended up in tears. I so take for granted being genuinely cheerful all the time. I guess I always assume that people who aren't super happy are just...well, I'd attribute it to them (jerk!!), and not their mood (bad day). (yes yes I know, standard FAE).

I think I'm better now. I got a new credit card today (woo!) and my CHI iron came yesterday (yesssssss). sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.

Posted by Jen at 10:49 PM | Permalink | Comments

was the phrase on a little kid's t-shirt that I saw yesterday. Golden. And okay, did you know, that driving along hwy 23 west, you will find provincial roads 240, 244, and 242, in that order? The confusion kinda adds an hour to your (my) driving time. Getting up at 5:30 is doing things to my mind.

Posted by Jen at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments

I'm caught up in something so...just so...possible. So possible that it seems impossible. I feel so grown up, but I don't want anyone to know how afraid I am of being treated like I'm little, irresponsible, or how little and irresponsible I feel. So far no one has said, 'that's impossible!' or 'you're crazy!', so I think I'm doing good. I've never felt more that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. But every few moments I get a snitch of doubt, but the thought that banishes that is that even though I can bail out of this anytime I want, others are going through things they can't just quit. I feel so many moments of uncertainty coming, but I know if nothing else, I have to try.

Posted by Jen at 8:03 PM | Permalink | Comments

At the beginning of the last school year, coincidentally when we went house-supply shopping i believe, i picked up a really nice vase. No flowers in mind really. Choose: wishful thinking or delusional? Both I suppose. Until today it had had no flowers in it whatsoever. Kinda dusty and smudged. So today, in the evening, bored of watching about 10 straight episodes of radio free roscoe, I left my house for almost no reason at all. Wandering really. Since it was payday, I figured I would just buy whatever would make me happy. Wandering by the flowers in the grocery store (really, who cares where they're from, unless of course, they're from someone else) I thought, why not? And so, I chose some pretty, although I knew they'd be stinky-ish, lilies. So, I got a "who'd you get those from??" from my dad. A "that's cute" from my mom when I told her I bought them, and a "that's nice" from one of my sisters. Yes, that's right. Well, I think it adds something to my bookshelf-ridden-dirty-laundry-generally-scattered room. And it smells like no other.

Oh well, back to watching the rest of every episode ever made of rfr.

Posted by Jen at 10:33 PM | Permalink | Comments

It is mid-ish June, and could I just say that that is crazy? Like seriously? Where did the last couple weeks go? Well, I guess work accounts for a lot of that, but still. I had a dream last night that a couple of my teeth fell out. Either it means I really really need to get my wisdom teeth taken out, or that I know I need to let things go (according to the internets) . I'm thinking both actually. So much in my life is far beyond my control, and I really have trouble recognizing that usually. So, anyone up for hotdogs and pancake breakfasts??

Posted by Jen at 11:10 PM | Permalink | Comments

Yesterday was my birthday, and could I just say...best ever? I expected nothing, but got a lot. A lot as in...happiness I suppose. Friends are awesome, even when they don't know it's your birthday.

Eric's story of biking makes me want to go on a roadtrip. Dang work (I don't mean that) and dang gas prices (I do mean that). Not all of us are willing to sacrifice our like, lives to bike on highways. Scary. But, anyway! Our eric should be in Manitoba right now! Who ever knows where, but at least in Austin! Yay! This weekend got a little better right now! But really, what could beat a weekend that includes a pancake breakfast...which reminds me...I have to wake up for that soon.

Posted by Jen at 11:38 PM | Permalink | Comments

Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day of my birth. I like my birthday, it's fun. Especially around people you don't know, it's like you've got this secret, that today's your birthday, and there's something special about you that they don't know. Silly and lame I know, but let me have my good mood. Kinda rare these days. I don't really care that it's my birthday though, I just want to go, have fun, see friends, not worry for once.

Hah, I've gotten two birthday emails from lame things I signed up for a million and a half years ago. Good thing I got some early happy birthdays from people.

This morning I was at a memory walk in Altona, and man I really don't like old folks homes, I love old people, but the places they put them, man. Anyway, I saw parts of this quote on a whiteboard, and I almost forgot about it, but i think it's pretty....nice.

I like not only to be loved, but also to be told that I am loved. I am not sure that you are of the same kind. But the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave. This is the world of light and speech, and I shall take leave to tell you that you are very dear.
-George Eliot (­Marion Evans Cross), In a letter to Georgiana Burne-Jones, wife of the artist Edward Burne-Jones, 1875

Posted by Jen at 11:31 PM | Permalink | Comments