Ok, I was in the middle of a whole really long entry when my computer reset on me. Yeah, I'm not impressed with computers. My freakin' DVD drive doesn't even play CDs. Just. Just. AERGH. I even participated in a psychological experiment asking me how I felt about computers, most of the questions were kind of ridiculous, so I'm guessing they didn't really have to do with computers. So now, Rae is talking to me all about fertilization. All for memory. Good on her. Let's just say I'm glad I'm not going into nursing anymore.
I had this big rant all out, and I think once I write it down, it's gone and I'm better. Strange therapy huh? I was saying mostly, how I'm scared of a lot of things, of getting bad marks, of failing badly at my job, at doing as crappily at my future job as I do on homework now. I don't like how I have no motivation. What is the means to this end? Rae's helping me write this. Anyway, I feel as if I have no motivation, no reason. I'm not depressed or crazy, I just feel...blah. I wish I could find one thing, this one thing I'd live and breathe for. I know what I'm supposed to say. I'm supposed to say God is my everything and the answer to all and my only hope, etc, etc. And I suppose if push really came to shove, that is my absolute truth. But, all I have is the answer. I know for a fact, from experience that just having the answer key does not provide you the way to the truth. I suppose only life can do that.
I had this big rant all out, and I think once I write it down, it's gone and I'm better. Strange therapy huh? I was saying mostly, how I'm scared of a lot of things, of getting bad marks, of failing badly at my job, at doing as crappily at my future job as I do on homework now. I don't like how I have no motivation. What is the means to this end? Rae's helping me write this. Anyway, I feel as if I have no motivation, no reason. I'm not depressed or crazy, I just feel...blah. I wish I could find one thing, this one thing I'd live and breathe for. I know what I'm supposed to say. I'm supposed to say God is my everything and the answer to all and my only hope, etc, etc. And I suppose if push really came to shove, that is my absolute truth. But, all I have is the answer. I know for a fact, from experience that just having the answer key does not provide you the way to the truth. I suppose only life can do that.
